Abusive Relationships- Dangerous Misconceptions

It is important to know the signs of an abusive relationship, but it is just as important to know the misconceptions. Victims who believe the misconceptions may not even realize they’re involved in an abusive relationship:Abusive RELATIONSHIPS

Misconception 1: Abusers are consistently abusive

Abuse is often cyclical. After an abusive outburst, it is not uncommon for the abuser to go through a period of remorse and request forgiveness. This is a pernicious way of trapping women in the abuse, by repeatedly giving hope that the situation can change. There may even be brief “honeymoon” periods between abuse outbursts, which can convince the abused that the relationship is worth saving.

Misconception 2: All abuse is physical

Emotional abuse is just as damaging and destructive as physical abuse. Name-calling, derogatory language, emotional manipulation, shouting, and threatening are all forms of emotional abuse. Be aware that these forms of abuse can break down the self-worth of yourself and your children. It is a very real form of abuse that has long-lasting effects.

Misconception 3: Abuse is the opposite of love

It’s not that simple. Many abused women still feel the love of their partner, however sporadically. They may believe the man they married is “still in there” underneath the abuse. Remember: No matter how much love is perceived to be in the relationship, no amount of abuse is acceptable. Love cannot and does not “make up for” abuse.

Misconception 4: If I love him enough, he won’t hurt me anymore

Wrong. The issue is not with the abused, but with the abuser. No amount of love or behavioral change on the part of the abused will change the abuser. There are many factors that lead to becoming an abuser, but it is the burden of the abuser to change. It is not, and cannot, be the responsibility of the abused.

If you are a victim of an abusive relationship, the scariest but most vital step is reaching out for help. The law is on your side, and the Hope E. Fruchtman Law Firm is ready to advocate for you. Ms. Fruchtman is a Scottsdale divorce lawyer who has extensive experience volunteering and advocating for battered women and will treat you with the understanding and attention you need and deserve.