Holiday Co-parenting Tips

Co-parenting / Mother and daughterThe holiday season can be a stressful and difficult time for parents and children after divorce, especially during the first year. It can be a hard adjustment to transition to a co-parenting relationship, especially when the holidays become a source of contention. No matter how old your children are, they deserve to be the priority. Here are some tips for drama-free holiday co-parenting from a Scottsdale family law attorney that ensures both families get to spend time with the kids.

Be flexible
While this can be difficult — especially if you have something really special planned — co-parenting requires compromise and flexibility. If your child’s other parent has family visiting from out of town during your scheduled parenting time, try to be open to trading days. This is in the best interest of the children to ensure they get time with both sides of their family. You would also want your ex to do the same for you. Be sure you arrange for specific make-up days at the time of the agreement.

Don’t overcompensate
Don’t feel pressured to buy your kids’ love or win their affection. Coordinate gifts with your ex to make sure the kids receive a normal amount of presents without duplicates. Don’t use oneupmanship and extravagant gifts to try to make your ex look worse in the eyes of your children. Your children want time with you. Start new holiday traditions, spend within your means, and create memories that they will remember forever, unlike the latest high-price gadget.

Don’t ask kids to decide where they will spend the holidays
Children go through the strongest grieving process after divorce and it’s simply not fair to ask your children to decide with whom they want to spend the holidays. Before talking to your kids about possible holiday plans, start by consulting your visitation schedule or parenting plan. Discuss plans with your ex and make decisions together as much as possible. When you have the kids during a holiday, give them time to speak with their other parent that day.

At the Law Office of Hope E. Fruchtman, we understand just how difficult the holidays can be after divorce. Still, there will always be opportunities to make new traditions and memories with your children and move on together while working with your ex to support the kids. All divorces come with an adjustment period, but remember that you can work with a Scottsdale family law attorney if your ex refuses to follow the visitation agreement in your case.